There are a lot of things I really don't understand about God, i'm learning more and more everyday, but the one that really confuses me is timing.
Lately someone has come into my life that honsetly the only way i can even explain is God... And i know God obviously had a part of everything that happens in my life, but when i needed someone God placed him there. Quite literally the night i needed someone too, it was odd.
But anyway, this is about the third or fouth time that the timing on some odd situation has been perfect, and i mean to the second, spot on... perfect. Unfortunetly nothing but God himself is perfect, of course there are bumps in the road. Stupid bumps... If not for a few minor (more like major) details I'd have the perfect friendship, and the perfect life.
Well guess what... what can be learned from perfection? Not a whole lot because there isn't anything to fix.
There is a lot in my life to fix... but right now, I'm learning to be content with what i have, while i have it nonetheless. Not taking anything or anyone for granted, and being thankful for it while and after i have it.
Basically, God has some amazing timing, and some more crazy timing...
I'm just playing it day by day and giving him thanks for everything i have while i still have it. <3
Monday, November 22, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Why do people emphasize BEST in a friendship?
Lately I've noticed some calling themselves my best friend, or even myself calling someone best.
In all honestly, i have 7 best friends, all for very different reasons, none quite the same, yet all so very important to me.
The first of which is my savior, my reason for being here, and my God. I wouldn't even be here without him so why wouldn't he be the best?!
And then there's my sister, who i don't know what i'd do without, in so many ways, she's been the best friend i could ever ask for.
Then another, one i just recently have got to know. I'm sooo glad i am though. He's the first real friend that i've had in a long time. I feel like there has been too much inbetween some friends and I, but not this time, it's only us, nothing getting in the way. It's the best.
I can't forget that someone who has tried to understand me through the tears, he's literally been here for me at all hours of my crazy days, and nights. Even at my worst he'd be the one to point out my beauty, both inside and out. He's the friend who steps in when the entire world seems to step out. What about that isn't the best?
And there's always a forever friend, one who's known you from the very start. All because we were lost at recess on day one of Kindergarden type of friend. And of course that feels like the best.
What about the one who it seems like forever, because you're practically sisters. I could call her parent's mom and dad without a doubt and they'd just smile. That feels like it should be best as well.
I also have the one who was inseperable for a long time. She's been through what seems like my worst part of life with me. She's the one who goes back and forth, but in the end, she could easily be the best.
And last but not least, the one you think you should be in a relationship with because you feel like some old bickering couple. We're constantly talking and he means so much to me. He's newer in my life, but it feels like both the best, and forever.
Alright, I just described seven different friendships, all of which are incredible. In my mind they're all my best. No one person should have that place in my heart and life. Because honestly God would win, he's my number one. Although all of the six others on my list are amazing. I love them, each for different reasons, but love nonetheless.
Don't let society make you chose the best. In the end we're all our own bests'. So be your best, be the best God made you to be, be one of the best friends to someone else.
In all honestly, i have 7 best friends, all for very different reasons, none quite the same, yet all so very important to me.
The first of which is my savior, my reason for being here, and my God. I wouldn't even be here without him so why wouldn't he be the best?!
And then there's my sister, who i don't know what i'd do without, in so many ways, she's been the best friend i could ever ask for.
Then another, one i just recently have got to know. I'm sooo glad i am though. He's the first real friend that i've had in a long time. I feel like there has been too much inbetween some friends and I, but not this time, it's only us, nothing getting in the way. It's the best.
I can't forget that someone who has tried to understand me through the tears, he's literally been here for me at all hours of my crazy days, and nights. Even at my worst he'd be the one to point out my beauty, both inside and out. He's the friend who steps in when the entire world seems to step out. What about that isn't the best?
And there's always a forever friend, one who's known you from the very start. All because we were lost at recess on day one of Kindergarden type of friend. And of course that feels like the best.
What about the one who it seems like forever, because you're practically sisters. I could call her parent's mom and dad without a doubt and they'd just smile. That feels like it should be best as well.
I also have the one who was inseperable for a long time. She's been through what seems like my worst part of life with me. She's the one who goes back and forth, but in the end, she could easily be the best.
And last but not least, the one you think you should be in a relationship with because you feel like some old bickering couple. We're constantly talking and he means so much to me. He's newer in my life, but it feels like both the best, and forever.
Alright, I just described seven different friendships, all of which are incredible. In my mind they're all my best. No one person should have that place in my heart and life. Because honestly God would win, he's my number one. Although all of the six others on my list are amazing. I love them, each for different reasons, but love nonetheless.
Don't let society make you chose the best. In the end we're all our own bests'. So be your best, be the best God made you to be, be one of the best friends to someone else.
Sunday, November 7, 2010
If you love you can lose...
Sometimes I wonder if you can truly love without losing.... God is the only one that has ever loved me that at some point hasn't left me.
Love itself doesn't scare me, but the fact is, i want to be loved without losing, i'm scared to love because if i love i can lose. I guess it's something you sacrifice, but it's scary.
Today my best friend told me he loves me, not in a romantic way by any means, but love nonetheless. And i've known he's loved me for almost 2 years now, but to hear those words, to know that I mean that much to him... it scared me. I found myself worrying that i'd mess something up, or that i needed to be something i wasn't. Which honestly makes no sense being he loves me for who I am, and for what I've done in his life and for what God has done for the both of us. But still i'm sitting here questioning this all.
Tonight he also questioned why i've never said the words "I love you"... i'ved said love ya, and things of that sort, but never those three words as one. Never all together. Those three words mean so much, yet our society has made them out to be so little. And here I am sitting in my room, thinking about why it's been so hard for those three words to come out of my mouth. He's one of the few people that have been there for me for a solid two years, no ifs ands or buts about it, he's been there at the drop of a hat, which in these past two years has been difficult to find. God has been the only solid person in my life to be constant. So for this person to completely randomly (seriously God is the only explanation for him coming into my life) and stick around for so long and then tell me he loves me... wow. That's really all i could say at that moment in time... I have reason to love him, but i feel like if i have reason to love him then he has reason to leave. I'm not quite sure why I always associate those two words together, but because of my past and some horrible circumstances i have...
So now i'm stuck in this place thinking about God's love, and a parent's love, and if i actually love my best friend.
The other thing is all of my friends that are girls i've never had trouble saying i love you, and honestly meaning it nonetheless. But for some reason this feels more real, and even more scary.
I just pray that I'll get over my fears, that God will show me not everyone who loves leaves.
I hope my friend has the patience to stick around until i'm ready to face my fears, but hey, he's stuck around this long :P
I'm not quite sure what the point of all this is.... but if you love someone, have the courage and strength to tell them, sometimes it makes them think about the big picture, i'm very thankful he said those three simple words and actually meant them. One day i'll be ready to tell him how much he means to me.
<3 A
Love itself doesn't scare me, but the fact is, i want to be loved without losing, i'm scared to love because if i love i can lose. I guess it's something you sacrifice, but it's scary.
Today my best friend told me he loves me, not in a romantic way by any means, but love nonetheless. And i've known he's loved me for almost 2 years now, but to hear those words, to know that I mean that much to him... it scared me. I found myself worrying that i'd mess something up, or that i needed to be something i wasn't. Which honestly makes no sense being he loves me for who I am, and for what I've done in his life and for what God has done for the both of us. But still i'm sitting here questioning this all.
Tonight he also questioned why i've never said the words "I love you"... i'ved said love ya, and things of that sort, but never those three words as one. Never all together. Those three words mean so much, yet our society has made them out to be so little. And here I am sitting in my room, thinking about why it's been so hard for those three words to come out of my mouth. He's one of the few people that have been there for me for a solid two years, no ifs ands or buts about it, he's been there at the drop of a hat, which in these past two years has been difficult to find. God has been the only solid person in my life to be constant. So for this person to completely randomly (seriously God is the only explanation for him coming into my life) and stick around for so long and then tell me he loves me... wow. That's really all i could say at that moment in time... I have reason to love him, but i feel like if i have reason to love him then he has reason to leave. I'm not quite sure why I always associate those two words together, but because of my past and some horrible circumstances i have...
So now i'm stuck in this place thinking about God's love, and a parent's love, and if i actually love my best friend.
The other thing is all of my friends that are girls i've never had trouble saying i love you, and honestly meaning it nonetheless. But for some reason this feels more real, and even more scary.
I just pray that I'll get over my fears, that God will show me not everyone who loves leaves.
I hope my friend has the patience to stick around until i'm ready to face my fears, but hey, he's stuck around this long :P
I'm not quite sure what the point of all this is.... but if you love someone, have the courage and strength to tell them, sometimes it makes them think about the big picture, i'm very thankful he said those three simple words and actually meant them. One day i'll be ready to tell him how much he means to me.
<3 A
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Why do people always have to come and go?
So i've lived in the same town now for 16 years, (well on and off) you'd think that the people would stay pretty consistant being in a small town. But of course not, people still come and they still go.
Lately i've got to know some REALLY great people. And it just feels like they're either moving away from this town, or they've changed and are out of my life. So my friends keep coming and going. I'm not sure why God does some of the things he does, and this is definately one of those things i just don't understand, but i hope to someday.
Another thing I don't understand is why someone would say 'oh I'll always be here for you', or 'don't worry, i'm not going anywhere'. What a lie. Of course one day they won't be there for you, of course one day they'll go somewhere away from here. How can someone say that not knowing what God has in store for them, not knowing what may, or may not come into their lives.
If none of this makes any sense, then why do people come and go?
Lately i've got to know some REALLY great people. And it just feels like they're either moving away from this town, or they've changed and are out of my life. So my friends keep coming and going. I'm not sure why God does some of the things he does, and this is definately one of those things i just don't understand, but i hope to someday.
Another thing I don't understand is why someone would say 'oh I'll always be here for you', or 'don't worry, i'm not going anywhere'. What a lie. Of course one day they won't be there for you, of course one day they'll go somewhere away from here. How can someone say that not knowing what God has in store for them, not knowing what may, or may not come into their lives.
If none of this makes any sense, then why do people come and go?
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