Yes, I serioiusly want a "what now" button. It's not acually a need because only God can answer my question, but sometimes I just wish I could get a button sort of like the whole Staples "That was easy", Easy button. Only what I would want isn't something to make my life easier, just something to tell me what to do next.
At this point with my friendships i'm not sure where to draw the line, or where to cross it. Or if this line I keep thinking about is just my imagination saying i need a line. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm building things up in my over-processing head of mine again, or maybe i'm breaking things down and making them seem smaller than they are in reality. If I should be worried about the friends I worry about. If some of my friendships are based on things that no longer are. Everything about my friends feels so questionable right now, i'm not sure what to do next. Or what needs to be done, no matter the order it's done in.
In regards to some choices that need to be made i'm not sure whether i should jepordize things that other people want for me to make me happy, or jepordize my happiness for others. Who comes first, me or them?
I know what I need is God's life plan for me, but right now I feel as if i'm stuck in between major stages in my life just sitting here waiting to figure out what's next... to see what God wants next in my life... to figure out what I want next in my life... I don't know what's going to happen now, and I don't like it, i'm a very structured person, as much as my personality is random, and sometimes thoughtless, I put all my thougthts into what's next, which is why i'm so lost as to what is next right now.
I need to trust God. I need to hear God. I need to figure out where his map leads me.
I'm in need of prayers, of wisdom, of less worries, of less doubt in myself. If you would pray it'd be much appreciated. I've got a lot on my plate right now and I can't even see the next ball that'll be pitched.
- A
