I've asked myself several times recently if I should just "give up" on a situations, tell myself that no, it won't be getting any better...
... or should I let go? No longer let these people get to me...?
I. Am. Lost...
.... 25% fed up...
.... 25% confused...
.... 25% exhausted...
and 25% hurt....
I don't know what to do now. I don't understand why some people say the things they say, and hurt everyone around them.
It kills me that some adults are too immature to even see what they're doing to their familes, to the people who see them and actually hurt for them.
I hurt because I care. I hurt because this makes me sad. I hurt because they hurt ME. I hurt because I love them.
I'm sure these few individuals have no idea how much I do care. I'm sure they have no idea that this makes me sad. I'm sure they have no idea just how much I really do love them.
They'll be a part of my life forever and yet they've burnt more bridges than I can count...
and made me cry more tears than I deserve...
But should I just give up? Or let them go? I don't know what to do right now. Like I said, I'm lost. I'm fed up. I'm confused. I'm exhausted. And I hurt.
It may sound like i'm whining, that i'm just rambling about someone of no importance, but that's not that case. I write because I don't know what else to do. I can't just confront them, because if I do I will end up screaming until tears stream down my face. I myself will burn bridges that I don't want to be gone. But I have NO idea where to go from here. I have NO idea where I can go from here. Or what lies ahead of me.
So here I sit. Praying for these people. Praying that God will heal the pain in their own hearts. And give them the wisdom to see what they're doing to the people who DO care. Praying that they find it in themselves to forgive the people who have burnt the very same bridges they're currently burning. Praying that God can restore my relationship with them.
I really don't want to give up, i'm not a quiter. And i don't want to let go either. So now what? Only God knows...
